David Allyn Dokich - Serial Child Rapist / High Risk Sex Offender

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Rantings of Joseph Duncan / child rapist

Because of the number of posts Joseph Duncan made in his blog, I have decided to condense the past year.

You will read, in his own words, how child rapists like him are 'victims', how its society's fault and how the sex offender laws are unfair.

You will read, in his own words, how he claims a year ago to not be a pedophile or child molester / rapist.

As the months go on you will read, in his own words, admitting that he has been molesting / raping children multiple times and has not been caught.

Joseph Duncan posted under the name Joe. He was in college, had a job, apartment, car and every chance to lead a decent life.

Take your time when reading, its a rare opportunity to get into the head of one of these perverts.

Friday, January 16, 2004

6:34 AM
I not only work full time off campus as a software engineer, but I also have a part time position on campus doing research for the Computer Science Department.

Monday, May 10, 2004

12:54 PM
Sometimes I Just Want To Cry

I read in the news this morning that the police intend to make their harassment address checks on sex offenders even more frequently than before (four times a year now). This really really bothers me. So much that I am having a hard time concentrating at work today. I keep thinking about how dehumanized I feel, like I am not wanted. I keep thinking about how people are terrified when they find out I am a "sex offender."

Once I visited with another student after a class two summers ago. When she found out later that I was a "sex offender" she was so scared that she complained to school officials and stopped coming to class!

If anyone reads this and thinks, "good, you probably deserve it." Then you may as well go out and rape a child, because that's exactly what your attitude is supporting. You are giving in to the sickness that I've spent half my life trying to understand, and that I'll spend the rest of my life trying to fight! People must somehow understand that the sickness is in our society, not the individuals in it. We are all victims!

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

12:45 PM
Dirty Dishes

It has been dawning on me lately that the reason I have been feeling uncharacteristically unmotivated for the last couple of years is because of all the stress associated with being required to register and basically not being able to do anything without being immediately concerned about people knowing I am a "sex offender" (which as I've already explained, I do not consider myself).

Friday, July 09, 2004

5:41 PM
Here We Go Again!

I got a call today from an investigator in a city about an hours drive away from where I live. Apparently I am a suspect for some un-defined incident that occurred last Sunday. He would not tell me anything about what happened, though he did not seem too concerned except to say it was a felony and all felonies are serious (in other words it probably was not too serious at least).

The officer wants me to drive to his city to talk to him. I almost told him I would, until he told me I was a suspect (I had to ask). Then I told him I would get back to him after I talk to an attorney.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

2:21 AM
First Line of Defense

I decided to hire an attorney to help in situations where I am being investigated just because I am on the "List of usual suspects." It cost me $500 out of pocket, but I think it could end up being well worth it for my own peace of mind. The attorney already saved me the headache of having to deal with the police who called the other week and wanted me to drive 45 miles just so he could eliminate me as a suspect. What a hassle, I also spoke with this attorney about the possiblity of filing a harasment law suit.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

7:30 AM

Even though the chances of a child being abducted by a stranger are less than the same child being struck by lightening, or bitten by a shark, children today are preoccupied with that fear. Fear is the beginning of isolation, confusion and hate.

All governments know that the biggest threat to their power over the people is unity amongst the people. Governments throughout history have sought ways to disrupt that unity. Our government is the master of this technique. It is routine and even expected for our children to turn in their parents if they even suspect they are not conforming.

Our children are taught in schools, "Do not talk to strangers, they are dangerous and want to hurt you." "If any adult makes you feel uncomfortable, run away and report them immediately." "The police are your friends."

What a great way to keep our children from learning new things and thinking for themselves. The last thing the government wants you to do is think, the first is to feel...Fear!

Thursday, August 26, 2004

6:26 PM
Home Invasion

My home was invaded by several police officers just this last Friday while I was at work. I caught them just after they broke in through a window on my web cam which sends an alert to my cell phone when it detects motion. My phone alerted me to the break in while I was waiting for Investigator Chad Jutz fill out the paperwork after searching my car and taking a disposable water proof camera.

The said they were looking for pictures of two boys who were molested more than a month ago by a man driving a red car and who had a "bump" on his lip. The man took pictures of the boys and so they took all my cameras and my home computer to look for pictures. Of course I am clean, they might find some pictures of me naked, non-sexual mode photos I used once to make a birthday card for a girlfriend once) but that's about it.

At first the search did not bother me too much, since I anticipated it happening eventually considering the way the police think (a sex offender driving a red car committed a crime, I'm a sex offender and I drive a red car, it does not matter I live about 60 miles from the crime and even in a different state). They can get away with the search warrant because I am a sex offender and no one is going to blame them if they find nothing since I am guilty by historical fact.

I am now 99.99 percent sure I will move to a different state as soon as I graduate and can find a job in a state where I'm not required to register.

Friday, October 08, 2004

9:35 AM
Without Forgiveness There Is Only Insanity

I was thinking on the drive to work yesterday that much of the insanity in this world is directly driven by the lack of our willingness (or ability) to forgive. This is actually a fairly profound and involved concept that would likely take a book to explain, so I'll just leave it to you to figure it out (if you care to of course).

Here's a hint: Forgiveness is letting go of blame; by letting go of blame we are forced to confront the problem. By not letting go of blame we evade the problem and it will invariably come back, usually worse than before. This applies to all levels of the "Human Condition" from personal problems where we fail to forgive ourselves, to criminal issues where we fail to take responsibility for crime in our community and country (by blaming or not forgiving the offenders). Forgiveness allows us to see the problem more clearly, and if the forgiveness is genuine then it also motivates us to do something about the problem via the empathy we feel for those we have forgiven.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

11:59 AM
On The Planned Murder of Scott Peterson...

No matter how you rationalize it, punishment is not a deterrent to criminal behavior (as has been shown by numerous studies). It is plain and simple vengeance, and as such serves no function other than to create more strife. If you think that most of that strife is on the criminal, then you are a victim of your own limited thinking. The strife invariably works its way over and over back into our lives. If we don’t stop seeing just the elephant’s tail, then we will keep getting trampled under its feet!

Murder is murder is murder. How do we ever expect our citizens to respect life, if we don't respect it as a society? If you think I'm a leftist bleeding heart liberal, then what would you have called Jesus? (Who was publicly executed for a "serious crime" in his day.)

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

8:52 PM
There Can Be Only One!

The mind is nothing more than a dream machine. Science has known this for some time, you merely dream all that you think you see. Sure, that dream is based on inputs from the "real world," but it is still just a dream, and as such with a little practice you can have a lot of fun manipulating your dream while you are awake!

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

11:04 AM
On Sex Offender Hysteria

Sex Offender Santa I committed a sex crime when I was very young.

All my psych reports say I am a low risk; I was just a kid acting out confusion over my own abuse and study's show conclusively that my type of offense is rarely repeated.

And yet almost 30 years later, while I have no parole nor have I ever committed a new crime, the police insist on knocking on my door several times a year, and sometimes in the wee hours, as a matter of ‘Magnus Genius’ to check that I still live here.

So, some of the more ignorant people in the world will read this and think, “they deserve it.” I call these people ignorant because they don’t see the hurt they are causing, more children, more victims, just because they are afraid to admit their own secret desires.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

9:49 AM
Criminals Are Victims Too

As long as we keep attacking the symptoms of social disease--the so called offenders--then our problems will keep getting worse. Some day (soon I hope) society will be forced to "wake up" and recognize how it propagates its own misery by denying the truth that criminals are victims too.

Monday, February 21, 2005

8:01 PM
Cure For Crime

The only cure for crime is Love. Everything else is just more crime.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

12:26 AM
What Friends Are For

A friend of mine pointed out that I spend too much time dwelling on my past (sex offense 25 years ago) and she offered this blog as evidence. She said I was also very negative, likewise evidenced in this blog.

Wow. She is obviously correct, and it bothers me that I hadn't seen this before. Not that I'm really negative inside, I'm really not.

I love my life, and I love the world, and I believe genuinely that God does not make mistakes, so there is nothing “wrong” about the way things are. I know from ongoing personal experience that my struggle to know the Truth is Gods gift to me! His gift can be acknowledge and recognized, but it can never be lost or possessed. So, I truly am a happy person on a level where being happy really counts.

So, Thank you pretty neighbor girl for pointing out this sad impression I’ve been giving and allowing me the opportunity to amend my ways.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

9:26 PM
A Conversation With God

Monday, March 21, 2005

11:06 PM
Who's Gonna Save Me?

"When you can see the strings that control your life, you tend to wonder." -- Jet (McNiel Island State Penitentiary, 1987)

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

6:26 PM
Teaching The World To Sing

Each time I re-read what I wrote in Key West I understand a little more, and realize more what God has been trying to tell me for the longest time, and what I have been wanting to know for just as long.

For instance, just now I realized the answer to a question I've been asking myself for years: What can I do to get people to realize how everything is connected? Well, I just found the answer hidden in my own ponderings from that Sunny Sunday morning: Any attempt to make the world a better place imediately and directly interfers with God's Harmonic intentions.

All answers must come in there own time, and God has the timing already figured out according to reasons infinitely beyond my own ability to reason. So, there is nothing that I "can do," but instead I must continue to strive to give-in to God's Will, because it is through this "non-doing" that his Will can be seen. I'm growing a lot lately faster than I want at times.

Friday, April 15, 2005

1:19 PM
The Boogyman Will Get Ya

I wrote the following as a draft
So, I've been accused of molesting a little boy. Those close to me know I didn't do it of course, how could I, I'm not even a pedophile.

Well, I'm not a psychopath either, I feel the full force and pain of everyone I have ever hurt, but that doesn't stop me from doing what I need to do. Ultimately my feelings don't matter, I learned that in prison. I have to carry out my orders or a lot worse than just me dying could happen.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

7:21 PM
Wrestling With Demons

Yes, I am still alive. I honestly wish not, I just don’t know how to kill myself so it makes sense. Nothing makes sense to me right now. Last night I realized I was “scared and alone.” Being scared doesn’t bother me as much as being alone, but it is a fate that I probably chose sometime before I was ever born because I’ve been making the decision to fight my battles alone since I was a small child.

The current battle is of epic proportions (I do not make this claim idly either). It is a battle between me and my demons. Only two people in the world have a clue as to the power and nature of my demons (besides me) and they will probably never read this. But just the same, these demons are stronger than even I gave them credit for, and now they are taking my best blows and not even staggering.

I’m afraid, very afraid. If they win then a lot of people will be badly hurt, and they’ve had their way before, so I know what they can do.

I’ve been praying a lot and asking God for help. I’ve asked him to step in and intercede directly, because I see no other way at this point that I can win. If you are reading this, and you believe in God, please pray for God to help me defeat my demons.

God has shown me the right choice, but my demons have me tied to a spit and the fire has already been lit. I don’t know if the right choice is even an option any more!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

9:17 PM
The Demons Have Taken Over

As far as letting God take care of the Demons, too late. They've locked up the "Happy Joe" person in the same dungeon that "Happy Joe" kept them in for so many years. Now they are loose and I am very afraid.

From now on I may refer to "Happy Joe" as "Jet" (me) and the demons as "The Bogeyman."

I have been asking God to help defeat the demons. In fact, last night I was on my knees begging him, crying out loud to him, to help me. He didn't answer, again.

The problem is I am loosing my religion. I don't accept anything at face value, not even my own thoughts. So when I start having religious convictions I question the source. And in my current situation I figure I am under a lot of stress, and there are perfectly natural human mechanisms that account for all religious experiences.

The demons (if that's what they/it are/is--I use the term for mere convenience) have convinced me that I should at least question my religious beliefs, (this makes sense, otherwise I would believe anything) and that is how they got the key to the dungeon, and trapped me inside.
To be more specific, I am scared, alone, and confused, and my reaction is to strike out toward the perceived source of my misery, society.

My intent is to harm society as much as I can, then die. As for the "Happy Joe" (Jet), well he was just a dream. The bogeyman was alive and happy long before Happy Joe.

I was in prison for over 18 years, since the age of 17. As an adult all I knew was the oppression of incarceration. All those years I dreamed of getting out...And getting even. Instead, I got out and I got even, but did not get caught.

So, I got even again, and again did not get caught. So, I figured, well, I got even twice (actually more, but that's here nor there), even if I'm the only one who knows, so now what?

Well that was when the "Happy Joe" dream started. I met a bunch of really great people, the kind of people I didn't even know existed, but here they were, bunches of them, my neighbors, my landlords, my professors, my coworkers, and they were all good people, who were willing to give me a chance despite my past. They were willing to accept me and be my friend, something that was new for me, having been betrayed by many "friends" and even my own family.
So, I tried to make it work.

But the problem was those demons. The ones who "got even" for me. They kept reminding me that if my new "friends" knew about them (and what they, I, had done to even), then so much for their friendship. So, "Happy Joe" was just dreaming, or pretending to be happy.

Friday, May 13, 2005

5:43 PM
Still Confused

My blog entries lately are erratic and full of a lot of B.S., for that I apologize. I am just trying to put down what is in my head, regardless.

As far as "taking people with me" well, I don't know if that is right or wrong. In fact, I don't know much any more what right and wrong even is.

My view is either everything is right (in some regard) or everything is wrong (in some other regard). The question (one I am struggling with at this point) is, "Does it matter?"

Does anything matter? My mother is crying right now, because her son is in trouble again. She tried to raise a good son, and she knows her son has a good heart, so why does he do these things? She is probably more hurt and confused than me. Does it matter?

It hurts me to know these things, but DOES IT MATTER???

A hundred years from now, all my mothers pain will be forgotten, and other mothers will cry for there sons. A million years from now there probably won't be any mothers (at least not like we know).

I have feelings, in fact I think I must be more sensitive than most people because I seem to feel more than they do, at least more than what they openly express. I feel for the starving children and families in the world, others say, "Oh, that's too bad, but I can't do anything so..."

I wish I could be more honest about my feelings, but those demons made sure I'd never be able to do that. I might not know if it matters, but just in case, I am working on an encrypted journal that is hundreds of times more frank than this blog could ever be (that's why I keep it encrypted). I figure in 30 years or more we will have the technology to easily crack the encryption (currently very un-crackable, PGP) and then the world will know who I really was, and what I really did, and what I really thought. Also, maybe then they will understand that despite my actions, I'm not a bad person, I just have a disease contracted from society, and it hurts a lot.

I hope to complete this journal before I die (soon) or turn myself in (I still might do that, I think it is the right thing, but of course, I'm not sure).

Speak of being sure; I wish I could be sure about my thoughts. But right now the only thing I'm sure about is that I'm sure about nothing. It is not a good position to be in considering my circumstances (being a felony fugitive and all).

Just 3 days later, May 16th, Shasta and Dylan Groene were discovered to be missing when police found the bodies of the girl’s mother, older brother and mother’s boyfriend bound and bludgeoned to death.

Joseph Duncan was found with Shasta Groene on July 3rd in a Denny's resturant.

Shasta has told authorities that she and her brother were repeatedly molested by Duncan.

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